Saturday, November 11, 2006

Redefining our world

Each year The Washington Post has a contest where readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.
And winners are...

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you
have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

For more go to comments.


Michael Emmanuel said...

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up
after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed
by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die,
your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer

Received this in an email recently.

Pursey Tuttweiler said...

I like all of these, but I think I like Oyster the best.

Michael Emmanuel said...

Mine favs are rectitude because of my recent experiences and of course balderdash.