Sunday, April 01, 2007

Sweet, Sweet Jesus

The 485,460-Calorie Messiah
The six-foot tall, milk-chocolate Jesus Christ art catastrophe.

"Man cannot live on bread alone, but if he were to consume Cosimo Cavallaro's newest creation he could live off of Jesus -- for approximately eight months. An oddball artist known for his "eclectic" forms of expression, Cavallaro's latest contribution to culture is a six-foot tall, anatomically-correct milk-chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ. His confectionary Christ is made with more than 200 pounds of chocolate, containing approximately 480,000 calories. (The artistic endeavor titled, "My Sweet Lord," can also give you 3,240 percent of the Vitamin A you need each day.)"

NPR Audio: Chocolate Jesus May Prompt Boycott. There are two sides to Easter. There's the Christian holiday. And then there's the bunny, the eggs and maybe some candy, too. A group called the Catholic League wants to boycott a New York hotel that is mixing the two sides by displaying a sculpture of Jesus made of chocolate. It's described as "the 485,460-calorie Messiah." People will be invited to eat it on Easter Sunday.

Chocolate Jesus
Written by: Kathleen Brennan and Tom Waits

Well, i don't go to church on sunday
Don't get on my knees to pray
Don't memorize the books of the bible
I got my own special way

I know jesus loves me
Maybe just a little bit more
I fall down on my knees every sunday
At zerelda lee's candy store

Well, it's got to be a chocolate jesus
Make me feel good inside
Got to be a chocolate jesus
Keep me satisfied

more here.

With Jesus, Do You Eat The Ears First?

Bread and Wine or the Chocolate kind? by meEE

People eat Jesus alot. They are Jesus eaters. They eat him in the form of a host, a wafer of unleavened bread every Sunday, and some more frequently than that. They also drink his blood in the form of a sip of wine. I did this growing up in the Catholic Religion. I never thought of myself as a Jesus eater but I was. I think I'll copyright a slogan "I eat Jesus."

The Catholic Church Dogma is that the bread and wine become the Body and Blood of Christ through transubstantiation. They are the only ones who claim this power that I know of. So when you eat the bread and drink the wine it is no longer just eating bread and drinking wine, you're eating and drinking Jesus. So now you too have Jesus in you and that's how you get Jesus in you, because Jesus can't just get in you by himself for some reason. The by-products of the bread and wine, excuse me, the essence of the by-products, are still Jesus as far as I can tell. So when you go the the bathroom does Jesus come out your...well you know what I mean?

Oh, man, what vain attempts to reach for that which has always been unreachable, to grasp at that which is not graspable, meaning, I say meaning that which IS and has Always Been and Will Always Be. No need of seeking outside yourself, literally or figuratively(grasping). That's why atheists can be actually closer to "What Is", Truth, they have either forsaken appearances or never had to deal wih them in the first place. Although to be sure their are plenty of "seemings to be" to get caught up in for those of any persuasion.

Creation is One with it's Creator and that Creation and Creator is only known through Love because it is Love. That's why the Chocolate Jesus may be as close to the truth as bread and wine. More people love chocolate. Even though the Catholic Church claims this power of catering Jesus's body, it's theology is so messed up with good and evil that it really doesn't make much sense. In so many ways the kingdom is kept at a "safe"distance, for another time and place, only after this life of trials and tribulations and eating Jesus every Sunday. Eating Jesus keeps you "online" but not "logged in"(yet) to that place that you want to be someday with all the good folks in the good place.

Are you not already there? Come on...

Eat more Jesus

Update: At Crooks and Liars via Shakespeare's Sister:
The Daily Donohue: The Violent Rantings of a lunatic bully over a Chocolate Jesus

me in the chocolatEE (yum)


candyschultz said...

That would be just about the right amount for any woman sufferning PMS and we could heed Dr. Hager's admonition to pray at the same time - how handy.

Missouri Mule said...

candy, you're killing me here! How handy, indeed! LOL!